Use Labels for Discovery
In the world of outside sales, understanding what your buyer thinks is your challenge. Yet most buyers don’t say what they’re feeling. They may nod, be polite, and say “Let me think about it,” or give vague feedback. But what they don’t say can often cost the sale. That’s where the power of labeling comes in. This is a simple but powerful communication tool popularized by former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss.
He introduced the concept of labeling in his book Never Split the Difference. He describes labeling as the act of naming a person’s emotion or perspective in a way that shows you understand them or are at least trying to. As he puts it, “Labeling is a way of validating someone’s emotion by acknowledging it. Giving someone’s emotion a name and acknowledging it is a powerful way to get them to move forward.” When used in sales, labeling can uncover hidden fears, concerns, or goals. These are the things a buyer may never say unless prompted in the right way.
Let’s say a potential client says, “This seems expensive.” Most salespeople jump in to defend the price. But with labeling, you might respond, “It sounds like you’re worried this might not be worth the investment.” That simple phrase does two things. One, it shows empathy. And two, it invites the buyer to clarify. The buyer might say, “Yes, because we’ve been burned before.” Or they might say, “No, I just meant it’s more than I expected.” Either way, you learn something useful. And it is something you wouldn’t have known if you had only defended the price.
Chris Voss says, “Labeling unveils the veiled.” That means it brings hidden concerns into the light. In hostage negotiations, labeling helped him understand what was driving the other side’s actions. In sales, the same idea applies. Buyers often hide their true objections behind politeness or silence. Labeling gives them a safe way to talk about their real worries without feeling judged or pressured.
Studies in emotional intelligence show that people are more likely to open up when they feel understood. Research from the University of California, Berkeley, backs this up. There it was discovered that people who feel their emotions are recognized by others show less resistance. They have a greater willingness to cooperate. Labeling taps into this truth. It shows that you’re not only selling but that your ears are opening and you are listening.
When your deal involve a long selling cycle, you need to get clarity early. When there are many stakeholders, competing voices can create confusion. When there are complex choices, uncovering the truth early is critical. A buyer might tell you, “We’re interested,” but if you don’t dig deeper, that interest might go nowhere. By labeling, you can say, “It sounds like you’re still not fully convinced.” That might sound risky, but it often leads to a breakthrough. The buyer might say, “Well, we’re waiting on budget approval,” or “We like it, but we’re looking at two other vendors.” Now you know what is happening. This uncovers the truth. And that allows you to act with clarity, not guesswork.
Labeling also changes the emotional tone of the conversation. When the seller uses labels, it shows they are not there to make a pitch but understand the truth and solve a customer problem. That builds trust. According to a report by Salesforce, 79% of business buyers say it is critical or very important to work with a salesperson they trust. Labeling helps build that trust by making buyers feel heard, not hunted.
Psychologist Carl Rogers said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment… it feels damn good.” That is at the heart of why labeling works. It’s not a trick or tactic. It is a show of respect. Labeling gives the other person space to be honest without fear of being judged or being corrected. When buyers feel safe, they speak more freely. And when they speak freely, the truth comes out. In sales, that kind of truth is rare. It is valuable when you know how to uncover it. Labeling phrases usually start with “It seems like…,” “It sounds like…,” or “It looks like…” These soft openers allow room for correction. If you are wrong, the buyer will correct you. But even in correction, they give you more information. You could say, “It seems like you’re concerned about timing.” Then listen to the answer. The buyer may say, “No, actually, we are more worried about integration with our current plans.” Now, you’ve learned the real obstacle and know how to proceed.
And that kind of insight is pure gold. It keeps you from chasing dead-end deals or burning hours on follow-ups that go nowhere. Instead of guessing, you’re working with real information. Labeling helps you separate the noise from the signal. Then you can focus on the customers with real potential. When you know what’s happening beneath the surface, you can spend your time where it counts. That’s not only efficient, but it is also how smart salespeople win more often. This is why great salespeople use labeling not only to uncover objections, but also to reveal motivations. You might say, “It sounds like you’re looking to find a long-term partner, not a quick fix.” If the buyer agrees, you now know how to position your solution. If they disagree, you get a more accurate view of what they want. Either way, the conversation moves forward.
Labeling can also diffuse tension. In tough conversations, emotions run high. Maybe the buyer is frustrated or skeptical. If you say, “It sounds like you’re frustrated with past vendors,” it gives them a chance to vent. And that’s a good thing. The Harvard Business Review reports that allowing a customer to express frustration increases satisfaction. That is as long as they feel the other person is listening and willing to hear what is being said. Labeling creates that space.
The act of naming someone’s emotion also has a calming effect. Out at UCLA, Matthew Lieberman is a neuroscientist. He found that putting feelings into words reduces their intensity. It’s called “affect labeling.” When we say, “I’m stressed,” it creates a feeling of less stress. When someone else says, “It sounds like you’re overwhelmed,” our brain processes that as empathy, not a threat. In a sales call, this small move can shift the whole dynamic.
Selling isn’t about logic. It is about emotion. People often make buying decisions based on emotion. They will later use logic to justify the decision. Labeling helps you tap into those emotions. As legendary sales trainer Zig Ziglar said, “People don’t buy for logical reasons. They buy for emotional reasons.” By naming those emotions, you move closer to the real motivation behind the buyer’s decision.
You might think this is too soft for high-stakes deals. But in reality, the higher the stakes, the more important it is to uncover the truth early. When deals involve thousands of dollars, assumptions are dangerous. A seller who doesn’t know the real concerns is flying blind. A seller who uses labeling is gathering clues. They are mapping the territory. They are giving the buyer the chance to be honest, while maintaining decorum. It softens the blow.
Chris Voss describes labeling as a “verbal observation.” You’re not telling the buyer how they feel. You’re guessing but with a soft touch. And because it’s framed as a guess, it doesn’t provoke defense. Instead, it invites reflection. Often, buyers don’t even know what they are feeling until you help them name it. Labeling provides that mirror.
In long sales cycles, you’ll face “maybe” responses, mixed signals, and stalled conversations. Labeling helps break that fog. You might say, “It sounds like this deal is losing momentum.” That label may sound bold, but it often prompts a helpful response. The buyer might say, “Yeah, we’ve had a shift in priorities,” or “No, we’re waiting on legal.” Either way, you get movement. You get the truth.
According to a study by Gong.io, top-performing salespeople speak 43% less than their average-performing peers. The reason? They spend more time listening. Labeling is one of the most effective tools for active listening. It proves you are not waiting for your turn to speak. You are tuned in to what is being said and what isn’t. You are noticing tone, hesitation, and emotion. You are reading between the lines. And when you label those cues, you invite the buyer to clarify, expand, and share what matters. That is where real conversations begin. In one case study, a software company trained its reps to use labeling in discovery calls. Within six months, their close rate increased by 18%. Reps reported that buyers opened up more, shared hidden concerns, and became easier to work with. One seller said, “I used to get ghosted all the time. Now, people call me back if only to say thanks for understanding.”
Labeling doesn’t cost anything. It requires no fancy software or sales enablement tool. But it does need emotional discipline. You must be willing to slow down and listen. You must care more about understanding than convincing. That’s a mindset shift. But it is a mindset shift that pays off.
Stephen Covey said, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” That’s exactly what labeling allows you to do. It shows the buyer that you care more about their perspective than pushing your agenda. When you lead with understanding, you earn the right to be heard. You’re not seen as another salesperson. You become a trusted guide. Labeling proves you're not chasing a sale; you're committed to helping solve a real problem. And that changes the dynamic of the conversation.
In crowded, competitive markets, labeling becomes a true differentiator. Most sellers talk too much, but few actually listen. Even fewer take the time to use labeling to uncover what the buyer is thinking. When you do, you separate yourself from the noise. You are not another voice in the crowd. You are a trusted partner. Labeling helps you stand out. You show up not as someone pushing a product, but as someone committed to understanding and solving problems. That is what builds trust. And trust wins deals.
With practice, labeling becomes second nature. It weaves itself into your sales rhythm. You begin to notice subtle pauses, shifts in tone, or moments of silence. And you can label them. You sense tension and call it out. You call it out with a gentle touch. You hear enthusiasm and mirror it back. Each time you do, the conversation deepens. The more you practice, the sharper your instincts become.
Labeling stops being a technique and starts becoming a mindset. It is one rooted in curiosity, empathy, and the pursuit of truth. And that’s what makes it powerful. And in the end, that is what great selling is all about. It is not about persuading someone to say yes but helping them feel safe enough to be honest. Because when the truth comes out, real decisions can happen.
Labeling works. It’s not a gimmick or a form of manipulation. It is a tool grounded in empathy and curiosity. It helps you uncover what’s real, earn trust, and keep deals moving forward. As Chris Voss puts it, “He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of negotiation.” Labeling opens the door to that kind of respectful dialogue. In sales, truth isn’t only power; it is clarity, momentum, and the key to meaningful progress. And it all begins with a simple, well-placed label.
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