Overly Positive or Genuinely Authentic?

In our society, there’s a common belief that staying positive is always the best approach to life. We hear phrases like "Look on the bright side" or "Keep a positive attitude." These phrases suggest that positivity is the key to happiness. And there are benefits to being positive. But one cannot rely on this alone. It is not always the best approach, in every situation. I will argue that being authentic or being true to ourselves and our feelings, is far more important. It is the difference between being well-known and worth knowing. The overly positive may be well-known, but are they worth knowing? Being authentic makes you seem like a real person. Being positive puts a nice wrapping on a situation but can make you seem like Pollyanna.

The 1913 novel Pollyanna by Elanor H. Porter brought us a young girl who always tries to find something to be glad about. No matter the situation positivity reigns. This leads her to develop a habit of extreme positivity. While being optimistic can be a positive trait, calling someone a "Pollyanna" carries a negative connotation. It is not meant to be a compliment. It implies that the person is so focused on positivity that they may be out of touch with reality. They could be walking through life blind to the potential downsides of any situation. This maple sugar approach comes across as disingenuous.

Authenticity means being real and honest with ourselves. It means being real and honest to others about our thoughts and emotions. It involves not pretending to be something we’re not. Even if it might not make us more likable or accepted by others. When we embrace authenticity, we allow ourselves to build stronger, more meaningful relationships. Because people can trust us to be who we truly are. They know us and what we stand for. As author and speaker Brené Brown once said, “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” Being authentic is a daily commitment that requires effort and self-awareness.

If you are always positive, it can come across as disingenuous. When we focus too much on maintaining a positive outlook, we end up ignoring or denying our true feelings. When something bad happens, and we force ourselves to be happy, we’re not being honest about how we really feel. This can lead to what is known as toxic positivity. Toxic positivity occurs when we try to stay positive no matter what. Even when it’s unhealthy or unrealistic to do so. It’s like putting a bandage on a wound that requires stitches. The bandage might cover the wound, but it doesn’t actually heal it. In the same way, being over the top positive can mask our real feelings without helping us address them.

Ignoring our true emotions doesn’t make them disappear. In fact, it often makes them grow stronger over time. This leads to greater stress, anxiety, or even depression. This is why authenticity is so critical. When we allow ourselves to feel and express our emotions in an honest manner, we get the opportunity to deal with them. This is a healthy internal exchange. The famous psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” Jung sought to remind us that living with authenticity is not only important but is also a key to living a fulfilling and happy life.

Elizabeth Holmes was the founder of the health technology company Theranos. She projected extreme confidence and positivity about her company’s potential to revolutionize blood testing. She used her charm and likability to build a massive following among investors. These investors believed in her vision despite little evidence to support it. Holmes relied heavily on creating a positive image of herself as a visionary leader, rather than being transparent and authentic about the challenges her company faced. Eventually, the truth came to light. The emperor had no clothes. Theranos’ technology didn’t work as promised. But Holmes’ reliance on maintaining a positive front, rather than being truthful about the company's struggles, led to the company's downfall. Eventually, Holmes was charged with fraud.

Think about people you know who are successful and highly regarded. As I look around, the best people I have worked with and learned from are the most authentic. When looking for advice on any topic, I don’t want to surround myself with people who will tell me what I want to hear. I want my inner circle to be filled with open, honest communicators. Your clients want this, also. They want someone who will give them real, solid advice about what is happening in the marketplace and how it will benefit them. They want someone who can make sense of the marketing landscape without painting an overly skewed picture of the landscape. The seller who claims everything is great and we don’t need to look at alternatives will soon find themselves on the outside looking in. The one that operates in the world of authentic, gets themselves a permanent seat at their clients’ inner circle table.  

Authenticity doesn’t only benefit us as individuals. It also strengthens our relationships with others. When we’re genuine and honest, we’re more likely to form deep, meaningful connections with those around us. People can usually sense when someone is being real. This authenticity fosters trust and comfort. If a friend asks how we’re doing and we respond in an open and honest manner, it can lead to a deeper conversation. It creates a stronger bond. Yet, if we always respond with “I’m fine” or “I’m great,” even when we’re not, we miss the opportunity to connect with that friend. We miss the deeper connection. When we are open about our struggles, it can inspire others to be open and honest as well. This creates a supportive environment where everyone feels safe to express their true selves.

In difficult times, the temptation to put on a brave face and pretend everything is okay can be strong. But being authentic during tough times is often the best approach. When we are honest about our challenges, we can seek help. We can seek out the support of others, which can make a significant difference in how we cope. Pretending that everything is fine when it isn’t, can prevent us from getting the help we need. This makes our problems even harder to manage. Being authentic in challenging situations also helps us learn and grow. By reflecting on our struggles, we can gain valuable insights that lead to personal growth. It gives us a deeper understanding of ourselves.

Positivity has its place, but it’s important to balance it with authenticity. This means being honest about how we feel while also looking for positive solutions. That is, when appropriate. When faced with a challenge, we can acknowledge the degree of difficulty. We can look to the future and remain hopeful about finding a solution. This way, we’re not denying our feelings, and we’re also not letting negativity overwhelm us. A good way to achieve this balance is by practicing realistic optimism. This involves being hopeful about the future while remaining honest about the present. It is a lot more pragmatic.

As Mark Twain once said, “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” He stressed the importance of being true to ourselves. When we’re authentic, we will feel more comfortable in our own skin. This is the foundation for leading a happier and more fulfilling life. Practicing authenticity in everyday life involves some key steps. It’s important to be honest about your feelings. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge when you are not feeling positive. It’s okay to have bad days. And it is ok to admit it. The worst thing you can do is fake it. Most can spot this untruth.

We should also avoid pretending to be someone we’re not. It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to meet others’ expectations. But stay true to who you are. This means being honest about our likes, dislikes, and opinions. Even if they differ from those around us. Listening to our inner voice and paying attention to what feels right or wrong is a key to authenticity. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s important to speak up and say no. Being open about our struggles can help us get the support we need. It encourages others to be open about their own challenges.

Surrounding ourselves with supportive people who accept us for who we are makes it easier to be authentic. When we are around people who encourage us to be our true selves, authenticity becomes less daunting. The benefits of being authentic are many. When we’re true to ourselves, we are more likely to feel happy and fulfilled. We are more likely to form strong, genuine connections with others. Authenticity can lead to better mental health, as it allows us to process our emotions in a healthy way. It also makes us more resilient. Being honest about our challenges helps us find ways to overcome them. It makes us stronger and more capable of handling life’s difficulties.

Authenticity is about embracing who we are and not being afraid to show our true selves to the world. While positivity can be helpful, it is authenticity that allows us to live a fulfilling and meaningful life. The philosopher Socrates said, “To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” Authenticity underscores the importance of self-awareness. When we know and accept who we are, we can live a life that’s true to ourselves and full of purpose. While positivity has its place, authenticity is what matters. By being authentic, we can build stronger relationships. We can improve our mental health. We can live a life that’s true to who we are. Embracing authenticity means letting go of the need to be positive all the time. Instead choose to be real, even when it’s difficult. It’s better to be true to ourselves than to pretend to be something we’re not.

In the sales profession, both authenticity and positivity are essential. But authenticity holds a larger role in building long-term success. Authenticity is about being genuine and honest with clients. This is what fosters trust and credibility. When sellers are authentic, we create strong relationships. This is because we are seen as trustworthy and dependable. This trust is the foundation of repeat business and referrals. It is where true business profit is achieved. It is the key to sustained selling success.

That does not mean be negative. While positivity is important it shouldn’t be your primary driver. A positive attitude can be motivating. It can help us overcome challenges. We can be resilient in the face of rejection. Positivity can also make interactions with clients more pleasant. It can be a key factor in closing deals. But, if positivity is overemphasized at the expense of authenticity, it creates big problems. A salesperson who is overly positive and glosses over potential downsides may make a quick sale. But this can damage the relationship, long-term. This is especially true if the client feels misled.

Authenticity should be the cornerstone of your sales approach. Positivity can serve a complementary trait. Being authentic is not the opposite of positive. It means being honest and transparent. Even when discussing challenges or limitations. Put your cards on the table, facing the customer. Show them the truth about their decision and the impact of the steps they are about to take. When you combine authenticity with a positive attitude, you can build strong, lasting relationships with your customers. You will earn their trust. And with that trust, you can maintain a reputation of integrity. This approach not only helps in closing but also it ensures customer satisfaction and loyalty. Both of which are vital for long-term success in the sales profession.

Maintain your can-do, positive attitude. Couple that with the forward-facing trust. Know what you are and how you operate. And then put that best foot forward with every client interaction. You can be known as a positive person. But it will be better to be known as a genuine, authentic individual who is there to help. And you can help your customers by being honest and straightforward with them. Your authentic self is someone who gets invited into the client’s inner circle of trusted advisors. The over-the-top positive person may get the invite to the cocktail party, but the authentic person has a standing reservation at the dinner table.

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