Ergo, Ego.
If you think about why people buy something, the general sentiment is that it is all about price, quality, or some other singular quantity. But there’s something much deeper that drives decisions. This is especially true for business owners. It’s called ego. Ego is a person’s sense of self-worth or importance. It’s how people see themselves. And how they want others to see them. For business owners, ego plays a big role in how they choose what to buy. It could play a bigger role in choosing who to buy from. The timing is also influenced by ego. Ego affects everything from picking a coffee supplier to choosing an advertising partner.
As the famous psychologist Sigmund Freud once said, “The ego is not master in its own house.” That means even when we’re making a logical choice, our emotions and self-image may be the ones in charge. For business owners, their company is often a reflection of themselves. They’ve built something from the ground up. It’s their baby. So, when they buy for the business, they aren’t only buying a product or service. They’re making a statement about who they are. Or making a statement about who they want to be.
When a business owner decides to buy high-end office furniture, it may not only be about comfort. It’s also about showing success and professionalism. It sends a message to clients, employees, and even competitors. The same goes for branding decisions. A logo redesign might feel like a fresh look, but it’s also about pride. As Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon, once said, “Your brand is what other people say about you when you’re not in the room.” The ego wants to control that message. It is the outward push of what we want others to see and believe about it.
Ego likes to feel in charge. Business owners are often used to being the decision-makers. They are the ones who have the final say. This need for control can shape how they make buying decisions. If a salesperson talks down to them or pushes too hard, it can feel like a threat to their ego. Instead of saying yes to the offer, they might walk away, even if the deal is good. Research backs this up. A 2022 survey by Salesforce found that 80% of B2B buyers said the experience a company provides is just as important as its products or services. That experience includes feeling respected, valued, and understood. If a business owner feels like their opinion is not being heard, they’re less likely to buy. In other words, protect the buyer’s ego, and you’re more likely to close the sale.
Ego is often fueled by how others see us. Business owners are no different. They want to be seen as successful, smart, and forward-thinking. This desire influences what they buy. Products or services that boost their image tend to win. This is why luxury brands and top-tier service providers often do well, even in business markets. A 2021 study by McKinsey & Company showed that “premium” branding could increase a product’s appeal by over 40%. The label “best in class” or “award-winning” makes a difference. Ego wants to be associated with the best.
If a purchase makes a business owner feel proud, powerful, or special, ego will push them to say yes. We can harness this power in our offers, too. We can highlight the prestige of the product or the implied endorsement of the product to make the customer stand out. It may be the tipping point for some decisions. Especially when the image aligns with the image the customer wants to project to the marketplace.
Ego not only wants to win, but it also wants to avoid losing. One of the strongest drivers of buying decisions today is the fear of missing out or FOMO. When business owners see competitors using a certain tool or advertising in a new way, they feel pressure to keep up. They don’t want to fall behind or look outdated. According to Deloitte, 65% of business owners say they made at least one purchase in the last year just to stay competitive. Even if they didn’t fully understand the product. Ego doesn’t want to admit it’s being left behind. This is why many marketing campaigns use phrases like “industry-leading,” “don’t get left out,” or “trusted by the top 1%.” FOMO feeds the ego’s need to be in the know, ahead of the game, and never last in line.
Nobody likes being wrong. Especially, a business owner whose choices affect employees, customers, and profits. Ego pushes people to make decisions that protect their sense of being smart and capable. This is why testimonials, case studies, and success stories are so powerful. They don’t only show results. They show alignment. They show that other smart people made the same choice. That makes it safer for the ego to say yes. It feels like confirmation: “If they did it and succeeded, I will too.” A 2023 HubSpot report found that 72% of buyers are more likely to purchase after reading a positive review. Reviews protect the ego from the fear of regret. They say, “You’re making a good call.”
Everyone wants to feel important. Ego loves to be noticed. Business owners, especially, respond to messages that feel personal. If an ad or sales pitch sounds like it was made just for them, they’re more likely to listen. But generic pitches can feel like a slap in the face. Ego might say, “They don’t know who I am. They don’t value me.” That’s why personalization matters. According to Accenture, 91% of B2B buyers are more likely to buy from brands that recognize their needs and offer relevant suggestions. This is also why VIP experiences, custom offers, and one-on-one meetings work so well. They feed the ego’s need to feel special and seen.
Ego isn’t always helpful. Sometimes it gets in the way. A business owner might ignore good advice because it came from a junior employee. Or they would be aligning themselves with someone who is not at a well-known company. Or they might stick with a bad decision to avoid looking wrong. This kind of ego-driven behavior can hurt a business in the long run. A 2022 article in the Harvard Business Review warned of such folly. It said, “Leaders who protect their ego at all costs often miss innovation and opportunities.” When ego becomes a wall, it stops progress.
The best business owners learn to balance ego with humility. As Jim Collins wrote in his book Good to Great, “Level 5 leaders blend extreme personal humility with intense professional will.” They know when to trust their gut. They know when to ask for help. But not everyone is built this way. Collins did not provide a specific percentage of business owners who are Level 5 leaders. But his research identified 1,435 companies. He found only 11 made the leap from good to great. With that in mind, don’t stand around waiting for your business owners to make this leap. Instead, work with what you have. Frame your offers to satisfy the simple elements laid out by your prospects and customers. Feed the ego.
For sellers, understanding ego is key to winning over business owners. The job isn’t merely to sell a product. It’s to make the buyer feel smart, respected, and in control. Selling the product is the end result. The vehicle is stratifying the emotional side of the equation. Making the ego believe it is in charge and making the right decision. That means listening more than talking. It means framing the offer in a way that supports the buyer’s self-image. And using that framework to make the most of the sales opportunity.
Great salespeople ask questions like, “What’s most important to you right now?” or “What would success look like for your business?” These questions give the buyer room to show their values—and their ego. And when the solution matches that vision, ego gives a green light. Even something as small as using the buyer’s name or acknowledging their past success can make a big difference. As Dale Carnegie said, “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest sound in any language.”
When two egos collide in a business setting—whether between partners, departments, or buyer and seller—progress can quickly come to a halt. Each side becomes more focused on being right than reaching the best outcome. Instead of solving the actual problem, they defend their position, protect their image, or try to “win” the discussion. This power struggle often creates delays, miscommunication, or complete standstills.
Ryan Holiday is a bestselling author, marketer, and modern-day Stoic thinker. He is best known for book Ego Is the Enemy. Holiday's work draws on ancient philosophy. Using it he offers practical advice for success, leadership, and self-mastery. He also runs The Daily Stoic, a platform dedicated to applying Stoic wisdom in everyday life and business. He wrote, “Ego is the enemy of what you want and of what you have: of mastering a craft, of real creative insight, of working well with others.”
In high-stakes negotiations or team decisions, conflicting egos can also block trust. One party may resist a good idea because it wasn’t theirs. Or they may reject advice that threatens their sense of authority or experience. When ego gets louder than logic, collaboration turns into competition. Instead of asking, “What’s best for the business?” the unspoken question becomes, “Who gets the credit?” This mindset can erode relationships, slow growth, and push opportunities out the door. As Peter Drucker once warned, “The greatest danger in times of turbulence is not the turbulence—it is to act with yesterday’s logic.” Ego often clings to old logic to protect itself.
Today’s business world is fast, noisy, and competitive. Everyone is trying to stand out. Ego is under more pressure than ever. It wants to look smart on LinkedIn, make good bets on technology, and never appear unsure. This stress can lead to fast decisions or even overspending just to feel secure. Social proof, rankings, awards, and online status updates are all signals that stroke the ego. But ego can be a compass. It tells business owners what matters to them. It shows where they want to go. As long as it’s not too loud, ego can help guide decisions toward purpose and passion.
Ego is not a bad thing. It’s often what pushes business owners to build, grow, and lead. But when it comes to buying decisions, ego must be understood and respected. It wants to feel in control, to be admired, and to make the right call. Smart sellers and marketers know how to speak to that need. Every choice a business owner makes says something about who they are and where they’re headed. The more we understand the role of ego, the better we can support those decisions and build lasting trust. Using the proper framework can help guide the final outcome.
Frame your offers as the best or second-best. It is a disrupter, but also the words feed the ego. When I tell customers, “This is the best opportunity we have for you,” the customer is inclined to agree because they align themselves with the word best. Because I want to present an aura of choice, I can introduce a 2nd best option. Yet, my choice of phrasing has already placed that offer in the less-than-desirable category. That is for someone who deems themselves a superior individual. They would not be associated with that particular offer as it is “2nd best.” So, the best offer can be considerably more because the second-best is used as a guide.
Today’s business owner is as complex as ever. Yet, for the most part, they have an easy pattern to understand. Focus first on what their wants, needs, and desires are. Find out what success looks like to them. Couple that with the framework that places your offer as the driver of that success. Don’t focus on the wrong thing. Focus on the customer and how to get the customer what they want. When you do that, you can almost name your price. As the poet Walt Whitman wrote, “I celebrate myself, and sing myself.” Business owners, too, are singing their own songs. And every buying decision is part of the chorus. Learn to sing from their sheet music and make the song that resonates. Tap into the internal emotion of their decision, but leave yours on the sidelines. Logic is not the main driver of business decisions; it is emotion first, ergo, ego.
My new book, 21st Century Sales Success, is now available on Amazon. If you like what you have read, please consider ordering a copy or two. You can always send one to a friend. Order your copy here: https://bit.ly/21stCenturySalesPB