Damage Joy
There’s a word in German that doesn’t have a perfect match in English. Yet, once you hear it, you know exactly what it means. That word is schadenfreude. It is a compound word, so there are two meanings married together. The first is: Schaden, which means “damage.” And the second is Freude, which means “joy.” Put together, it means “joy from damage.” To be more precise in its definition, it describes the strange pleasure we feel when something bad happens to someone else.
This feeling is not new. Writers, philosophers, and scientists have noticed it for centuries. But the idea that we can laugh or smile at another person’s misfortune can be uncomfortable. Why does traffic develop around an accident? People are looking to see what happened, and a high percentage of those people are entertained by it. Why would anyone enjoy that? Are we cruel? Are we broken? Or is this part of being human?
One study by psychologists at the University of California, Berkeley shows this to be true. It revealed that even young children show signs of schadenfreude. It has been recorded in children as young as two years old. When a sibling or another child is scolded or makes a mistake, the observing child might smile or laugh. They’re not doing it out of hate. They’re doing it because something inside them feels a release. It is as if justice has been served. It is like a balance has been restored to the universe.
Adults feel it too. It could be when a celebrity gets caught in a scandal. Or when a cocky athlete misses an easy shot. People often feel a jolt of satisfaction. Outside of New England, who didn’t like cheering against Tom Brady? Social media is filled with videos of people falling, messing up, or making fools of themselves. Millions of people watch and share them. We may say, “That’s terrible!”—but we keep watching. Why?
One reason is fairness. When we see someone who is arrogant or acting better than others suffer a setback, it can feel like the universe is correcting an imbalance. As the saying goes, “Pride comes before the fall.” This idea is thousands of years old. Even the Bible includes versions of it. In Proverbs 16:18, you can read: “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” When the mighty stumble, it’s almost satisfying. It goes double if we believe they deserve it.
Another reason has to do with comparison. We, as humans with the ability to reason, are always comparing ourselves to others. Psychologist Leon Festinger wrote about this in the 1950s. He developed the theory of “social comparison.” We measure our own worth not only by who we are, but also by how we stack up against others. Why do we keep score in the sales department? Partly to manage our own progress, but also to measure ourselves against the rest of the team. If someone close to us fails, it can make us feel like we are doing better. And that gives us a double jolt, especially if nothing in our own life has changed.
This idea has been tested in research. It is seen in a study published in the journal Nature. People feel more schadenfreude when someone from a high-status group suffers. When the rich or powerful suffer a misfortune, many get a smile on their face. If a politician, actor, or athlete makes the headlines for something scandalous, that is great for us. That misfortune makes us feel like the world is a little more equitable.
Mina Cikara is a psychology professor at Harvard University. She is the director of the Intergroup Neuroscience Lab. Her research explores how group dynamics affect empathy, conflict, and discrimination. Using experiments and brain imaging, she studies phenomena like schadenfreude. The goal is to determine how it is influenced by social identity and group status. She says, “If you care about fairness, and someone who is high-status gets brought down a peg, it can feel emotionally rewarding.”
There’s also a brain connection. Neuroscientists have studied how schadenfreude lights up certain areas of the brain. When people feel joy at another’s pain, especially someone they dislike, there is activity in the ventral striatum. This is the part of the brain involved in reward. This is the same part that lights up when we eat something delicious or win money. It shows that schadenfreude is not only a social or emotional feeling; it’s a real chemical response.
And this response is not limited to enemies or rivals. Even among friends, schadenfreude can show up. This starts at an early age. In 1904, Elizabeth Magie created a board game to show the negative impact of land monopolies. Its design was meant to teach economic lessons about inequality. Over time, players modified the rules to focus on wealth-building. Later, in the 1930s, Charles Darrow popularized a version of the game, which he sold to Parker Brothers. Despite controversy over its true creator, Monopoly became one of the best-selling games of all time. And it is a game we all may have played at an early age. In this board game, to win, you have the most wealth. You can only do that at someone else’s expense. It is a zero-sum game. When a friend lands on your hotel, there’s a part of you that cheers. And you cheer, even though you might apologize right afterward. In small doses, this kind of schadenfreude is normal and can even make competition fun.
Still, not all schadenfreude is harmless. There are times when it turns into cruelty. That’s especially true when people feel powerless in their own lives. Watching others fail might become their only way to feel strong or in control. Sigmund Freud believed schadenfreude was tied to what he called “the relief of repression.” When we’re told we can’t act on certain feelings, like jealousy or anger, we find another outlet. Enjoying someone else’s pain becomes one of those outlets.
But we don’t have to let that turn us into mean-spirited people. Recognizing schadenfreude in ourselves can be a tool for personal growth. If you find yourself laughing at someone’s mistake, ask yourself why. Do you feel threatened by that person? Do you think they had it coming? Or are you trying to make yourself feel better by comparison? The old saying goes, “Never laugh at a hearse. You might be next.”
Arthur Schopenhauer was a 19th-century German philosopher. He was best known for his pessimistic view of human nature. He entertained the idea that desire leads to suffering. He was influenced by Eastern philosophy and Immanuel Kant. He believed that “will” was the driving force behind all existence. His most famous work, The World as Will and Representation, explored these ideas. He is said to have influenced thinkers Nietzsche, Freud, and Einstein. He wrote, “To feel envy is human, but to savor schadenfreude is devilish.” He believed that enjoying another’s pain was one of the lowest parts of human nature.
But other thinkers have seen it as more complicated. Friedrich Nietzsche, while influenced by Schopenhauer, believed that human emotions were layered. Because of that, they are full of contradictions. We may love someone and still feel pleasure when they trip. That doesn’t make us evil. It makes us human. In today’s world, we are overexposed to other people’s lives. Reality TV, Instagram fails, and viral videos make it easy to witness mistakes and mess-ups. This constant stream creates a culture where schadenfreude can grow. We start to feel like we’re in a competition we never signed up for. Everyone is posting their best moments, so when someone stumbles, it’s almost a relief. It reminds us that everyone struggles. Even and especially the ones who look perfect, online.
But there’s also a better side to all this. Some people use these moments not to laugh at others, but to feel connected. When someone famous falls from grace and admits they made a mistake, people often respect them more afterward. It makes them real. And that shared humanity, where we all mess up, can be powerful. It acts as a bonding agent for parts of our society. We may even end up liking something or someone we previously did not care for. It is because they experienced something we once experienced.
The late actor, Robin Williams, said, “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” That quote is a good reminder when we find ourselves enjoying someone else’s failure. Empathy can stop schadenfreude in its tracks. Instead of thinking, “Ha! They deserved that,” we may think, “What are they going through?” “Is there something I can help them with right now?”
There’s a strange comfort in the idea that we’re not alone in our struggles. That’s one of the reasons schadenfreude is so sticky. It’s a reminder that others trip, too. But rather than gloating, we can choose a different path. We can laugh with people, not at them. We can find joy in our own growth, not in someone else’s fall. We can realize we are all in the same boat, and if we can help others get what they want, we often get what we want, too. Hence, the world of the consultative seller. Our success is rooted in helping others achieve what they would like to achieve.
Yet it’s also okay to admit that sometimes, we do laugh. Humor often comes from surprise. Few things are more surprising than a person slipping on a banana peel. Especially when they’ve been walking around like they own the place. Comedians know this. Writers know this. The ancient Greeks knew this. In fact, the earliest Greek comedies often showed powerful people getting mocked or embarrassed. It wasn’t only to make the audience laugh. It was a form of social correction. It was a way for regular people to feel powerful when they have none. That tradition continues today in satire, late-night comedy, and even political cartoons.
So, are we bad people for enjoying schadenfreude? Not necessarily. But we should be aware of when and why it shows up. If we are using someone else’s pain to cover up our own, that’s a signal to look inward. If we are sharing a laugh because something was genuinely funny and not mean, then it could be okay. Like most human behaviors, context matters. In the end, schadenfreude shows us something deep about ourselves. It reveals our insecurities, our sense of fairness, and our desire to belong. It can teach us to be more mindful, more empathetic, and more honest about our feelings.
Because let’s face it: we all love a little chaos. That is especially true when we’re not the ones it is happening to. It may be ok to take a little pleasure from it, as long as we don’t let it make us cold. And we stay kind in the moments that count. Then it is only another strange part of being human. As we have determined, people love carnage. By definition, carnage is bad things that happen to someone else. Because when it happens to you, it is called, “#$%^.” And there is no joy when "#$%^" happens.
My new book, 21st Century Sales Success, is now available on Amazon. If you like what you have read, please consider ordering a copy or two. You can always send one to a friend. Order your copy here: https://bit.ly/21stCenturySalesPB